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Corporate offices at TVMan, Inc. got the call last night from network executives that its pitch for the next big celebrity reality show had been approved and taping for the pilot will begin immediately.

“The premise of “America’s Next Eccentric Celebrity” is simple,” said Irene B. Baumeister, director of new programming at TVMan, Inc, “now that America has lost  its most eccentric celebrity in the passing of Michael Jackson, we need to replace him with a new eccentric celebrity.”

Industry insiders say the show will have an “American Idol” format and will possibly be hosted by Paula Abdul.

“All I can say is that our people have talked to her people,” said Charles Radke, assistant talent coordinator at TVMan, Inc.

American viewers will be able to tune in every night while a group of “A-list” celebrities compete for the title of “America’s Next Eccentric Celebrity”.  There will be a series of competitions in categories such as: bizarre plastic surgery,  hiring and firing of staff  on a whim, excessive social anxiety, odd beliefs, peculiar behavior and appearance, and finally spending large sums of  money on unusual items.

“We’ll have all the top celebrities like Britney Spears, Tom Cruise, Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie,” said Martha Barnes, VP of marketing at TVMan, Inc., “we’ll also have a few ‘B’Listers’ like Mike Tyson and Danny Bonaduce for laughs.”

“Its very important for American’s to have eccentric celebrities they can obsess over,” warned Antoni Adamczyk, a Russian economist.  ”If they don’t, they may stop reading gossip blogs and playing on Google at work all day.  Then they’ll get back to their jobs and begin creating quality products again.  It will be like the Fifties all over again.  Can you say ‘Cold War’.”

The winner of “America’s Next Eccentric Celebrity”  will reign until their bizarre and untimely death.  Then the show will pick another.

One of our all time favorite celebrities here at TVMan, Inc., (behind Karl Malden, Michael Jackson and Blanket Jackson) has run into a bit of trouble, along with some traffic cones and a police barricade.

The talented Joyce DeWitt of “Three’s Company” fame was busted Saturday around 4:30 p.m. on suspicion of DUI, El Segundo Police Sgt. Dean Howard says.

“An officer saw DeWitt drive a vehicle past a barricade intended to control vehicular traffic near a park,” says Howard. “As the officer spoke with DeWitt, he observed signs and symptoms of alcohol intoxication.”

Joyce’s website (http://www.joycedewitt.com/) remains silent on the issue but does give you the opportunity to by autograph pictures with the salutation of your choice.  We’re getting once for the office that says, “cheers”.

All of us here at TVMan, Inc. are hoping this will be a wake up call for Joyce.

Perhaps this will reignite her career as it has for other celebrities.

Maybe there will be a reality show on the horizon.  Kind of a “Three’s Company” situation where Joyce, Todd Bridges and and another out of work celebrity are locked up in a cell and the Warden Roper keeps coming in with zany comic antics.

Good luck Joyce, we’re pulling  for you.

Things were a little quite around the Houston office of TVMan, Inc. this morning after management announced the road trip to Los Angeles to attend the funeral of Michael Jackson had been canceled.

“This stinks,” said Madison Sattler who works in the boiler room at TVMan, Inc.  ”I’ve been a big fan of Mike’s for a long time.  I spent all weekend packing.”

Top brass from TVMan, Inc.’s corporate offices issued the statement and it was read during the Monday morning meeting.  ”Although we here at TVMan, Inc. take the needs of our employees seriously, our policy has always been that paid leave for bereavement is only for use when a family member passes.  That is all now get back to work.”

“My heart is broken”, said Sakarias Henriksson, a graphic design intern from Ecole des Hautes Etudes Commerciales in Switzerland.  ”In my country we’d get six months off for this kind of thing.”

All of us here at TVMan have been big Michael Jackson fans since the beginning.  He was no Karl Malden, but he was a great entertainer just the same.

We also love and adore his three children, but our favorite is “Blanket Jackson“.  That’s why we’re concerned about what will happen to “Blanket” without the loving guidance of his father.

“Blanket” will soon have to live in a world outside the confines of Neverland Ranch.  He’ll have to go to public schools in Los Angeles,  join the Boy Scouts, play Little League and finally get a job since most of his Dad’s money will still be tied up in court battles.

What we at TVMan are asking the world to do is show your support for “Blanket” as he grows up. You know kids can be cruel to each other, and with a name like “Blanket” it won’t be easy.

How can you help?  Should you see a young man working at an LA Burger King or McDonald’s one day with a name tag that says, “Blanket”,  give him a smile and tell him “Way to go Blanket.”

Let us know what you plan to do to help.

We here at TVMan are saddened that with all the hoopla over “The KIng of Pop’s” death that the passing of Karl Malden has been over looked.  Karl was a personal friend and a great actor.  Please rent “On the Waterfront” this weekend.

God Bless You Karl.