TvManOnline Houston TV Commercial Production Company

HOUSTON, TX- For the 9th year in a row the Houston office of TVMan, Inc. reigned supreme in the annual company wide blood drive besting the New York office by a single pint with only thirty seconds left on the clock.

Each year the World Headquarters of TVMan, Inc. sponsors the blood drive competition between the company’s three offices, Houston, New York and Paris.

“Its for a great cause and the employees really like the competition, ” said Armand Mathiew, team captain for the Paris office.

Employees say this year was by far the closest and most exciting of all the blood drives in the company’s history.

“We were all huddled around Facebook watching the other branches post their totals,” said Sheila Williams, captain of the TVMan, Inc. Houston team.

“With about an hour to go we saw that the Paris office was way behind and out of it, but we were in second place behind New York,” said Williams.  “It was time to start our Secret Plan.”

The “Secret Plan” centered around star donor Larry A. Clayton, a 95-year-old security guard in the Houston office.

“Larry usually takes a nap around 4pm”, said Williams.  “When he dozed off we went in and hooked him up.”

Employees gathered about cheering. “GO! GO!” as the last drops from Clayton’s arm filled the bags needed to victory.  Just before the clock went off he was able to give the 6 pints needed to beat the New York office.

“Well played Houston,” said Angelica Pinto a designer in the New York office.  “They had a plan and we didn’t, wait until next year.”

When Clayton woke up and was told of his role in the victory he was very humble and had little to say.

“Where am I?” Clayton joked as his fellow employees cheered.

For his heroic efforts the long time employee received a tee-shirt that says, “I Gave”, and a bottle of scotch.

Unfortunately he used the bottle of scotch to rehydrate and will be out for a few days.

“Brave man”, said Charles Hastings the first paramedic to arrive on the scene.

Employees are already planning next years competition.

Season’s Greetings TVMan Employees!

Its been another wonderful year hasn’t it!

I can’t believe all the accomplishments we’ve made over the past 12 months.

First off I’m happy to report that by fixing that sticky cable in the elevator we’ve managed to cut on the job injuries by 85%.  Our goal next year is get it down to zero by fixing the safety guard on the paper cutter.

A big hats off to the gals in the cafeteria for finding out what was causing the excessive gas and painful bloating experienced by those who were eating the three-bean salad off the salad bar on Tuesdays.  Nice work.

I hope by now you have all received your gift bags from corporate.  I know you all got Crocs last year, but this year by getting the left one you should all have a nice comfy pair.  Wear them with pride on your day off.  Or at the beach this summer during furlough.  Just kidding.

I encourage all of you to send Helen at corporate an email telling them how grateful you all are for the gifts and for having your jobs.

As some of you have already noticed there was no end of the year bonus this time around.  I’ll address that when I get back from my Mediterranean cruise in March.

Sincerely,

August Buskens
Chairmen and CEO
TVMan, Inc.

A contest held to involve the nation’s top design students in the rebranding of Houston TV Production Company, TVMan, Inc., has been cancelled because of an internal screwup.

“Our current logo and branding identity is about 15 years old, its time for something fresher…you know more hip,” said André Veronneau, TVMan, Inc. Brand Manager.

The idea was to involve the most brilliant design students from the nation’s top art colleges to submit ideas for a new logo and brand identity and award the student a scholarship to continue in their studies.

However TVMan, Inc. mailroom intern Bruce Henderson only sent the contest  letters to a 4th grade art teacher at Appalachia Elementary School in Appalachia, Virginia.

“We were thrilled when we got the contest letter,” said Vanessa F. Thomas who has been teaching art at the elementary school for 35 years.

“I broke out the crayons and had the kids make some art”, said Miss Thomas.  ”I sent them back right away, I hope one of them wins.”

The TVMan, Inc. board of directors decided to suspend the contest once the entries came it.

“We first thought the entries were kind of cute”,  said Esther Moody, TVMan, Inc. employee counselor.

“But then we noticed some of them were quite disturbing,” continued Moody, “especially one by a boy named Sam whose artwork was called ‘Kill Miss Thomas’.”

“Even though the kids poured their hearts and souls into these pictures they weren’t quite what we were after, said Veronneau,”so we suspended the contest until the fall when a broader range of students could participate.”

Here’s a look at some of the entries from the kids at Appalachia Elementary School. Click to enlarge.

TVMan, Inc. will keep their old logo until a real contest can be organized.  Until then the pictures will be hung on the lunch room refrigerator.

TVMan, Inc. is one the nation’s finest HD Commercial Production Companies.

For more information or to submit entries contact our Houston office.

A Happy Tiger Woods talks to TVMan, Inc.

Tiger Woods finally has something to smile about.

“This is the greatest day in my life,” said Tiger Woods during an exclusive interview with Houston TV production company TVMan, Inc.

“I got the call yesterday and its official.  I am no longer the “Stupidest Man in America”, smiled Woods.

Woods made the statements in an interview with TVMan, Inc. senior producer, Bernadette Faucher.  Two other media outlets ESPN, and The Golf Channel also talked with Woods but neither focused on Tiger losing the title.

Oscar Winner Sandra Bullock with "The Stupidest Man in America"

The title has been passed to TV personality, Jesse James, husband of Oscar winner Sandra Bullock.

The award for James comes after tattoo model Michelle “Bombshell” McGee’s claims of an 11-month affair with him as Bullock was shooting her Oscar Winning movie role.

Bombshell?

Houston Production Company TVMan, Inc. will begin shooting a series of firework safety PSAs featuring explosive singer Lady Gaga.

“We’re very excited to have both TVMan, Inc. and Lady Gaga on board for this,” said William Miller a spokesman for the National Council on Fireworks Safety.

Ms. Gaga was selected to star in the safety videos because of her experience using fireworks onstage during her performance.

“People think that you just strap on a bra loaded with sparklers, roman candles, cherry bombs and m-80s, light it and you’re ready to go,” said Ms. Gaga from a hospital bed in Los Angeles where she is recovering from 3rd degree burns she suffered in a show last night.  ”Or at least that’s what I thought,” she said,

“The staff can’t wait to work with her,” said TVMan, Inc. facility saftey inspector Todd Farnham.  ”We all sent her a signed get well card today.”

Production will begin when Ms. Gaga is fully recovered and the spots will start airing towards the end of June.

“I love my Little Monsters,” said Ms. Gaga, “but we all need to pay attention when it comes to fireworks.”

Learn more about TVMan, inc. at: http://www.tvmanonline.com/

TVMan, Inc. is a full service Houston TV Commercial production company

Russian business magazine, Упорно трудитесь, Умрите Бедные (Work Hard, Die Poor), has named TVMan, Inc. mail room clerk, Ruben J. Martin one of the most interesting people of the decade.

Martin (pictured left) has worked for TVMan, Inc. since 1978.  He started in the mail room, transferred to the loading dock but then returned to the mail room after a piano fell out of a box and crushed his left foot.

“He’s been a great mentor,” said Ronald Jackson, a mail room clerk at the West Nile Mosquito Research Center.  ”He taught me everything when I was a mail room intern at TVMan, Inc.”

“Comrade Martin is one of the most interesting people we have come across,” said Beriszl Salay , entertainment editor for Упорно трудитесь, Умрите Бедные. “We can’t believe your Barbara Walters left him off her list.  She’s a fox you know,” said Salay.

Martin’s outlook for the next decade maybe even more interesting.

“Mr. Martin took a three month sabbatical  last year to get his GED,” said Gloria Needham, a TVMan, Inc. spokesperson from New York.  ”While he was away we converted the mail room to a paperless administration system.  Unless he learns C++ or some other programming language over the weekend we’ll have to let him go.”

Learn more about TVMan, Inc at:  http://www.tvmanonline.com/

TVMan, Inc. is a full service Houston TV Commercial production company

Houston TV Production Company, TVMan, Inc. was forced to call in National Geographic’s  Dog Whisperer to help management deal with the erratic behavior of an employee.

The troubled employee, Kyle Weaver, has only been with TVMan, Inc, a short time, but has never quite fit in.

“Some of the girls from accounting found him on a lunch break and pleaded with us to let them keep him,” said Doris Jansesn, from TVMan, Inc.’s personnel department.  ”Of course they promised to take care of him but that didn’t last long, so we found him a position in the mail room.”

Since then Weaver has been growling at fellow employees and even bit one of the cleaning people who bumped into him while his was eating.

“We tried all the traditional methods like scaring him with a rolled up newspaper and shaking a bottle filled with coins,” said Kathrine Holbrook, TVMan acting HR supervisor,”but nothing worked, so we asked Ceasar Milan to help.”

Milan, the star of National Georgraphic’s Dog Whisperer, was only to eager to help.

“Many new employees exhibit this type of behavior when their environments are changed or they feel their pack leader is weak,” Milan said while staring at Weaver’s cowering shift supervisor Brian Carney.

Milan said that Carney must establish himself as Weaver’s pack leader and that will cure him of his anxiety, fears. phobias and even biting.

“It wouldn’t hurt if someone walked him for an hour a day either,” said Milan.

Milan also warned that employees who take Weaver on sales calls shouldn’t leave him locked in the car even with a window cracked open.

Learn more about TVMan, inc. at:  http://www.tvmanonline.com/

ReadRead more blog entries at: http://tvmanonline.wordpress.com

TVMan, Inc. is a full service Houston TV Commercial production company

Houston TV Commercial Production Company TVMan, Inc. found out the hard way that President Obama’s “Beer Diplomacy” isn’t a good idea in the workplace.

“We followed the story very carefully,” said TVMan, Inc. Human Resource VP Laurie Burcham.  ”It seemed to work on TV.”

Last Friday TVMan, Inc. production  designer, Chester Spitzer had a disagreement with fellow designer Buddy Knox .  Knox borrowed a pencil from Spitzer then chewed  the eraser off and left teeth marks on the pencil itself.

“The two were about to come to blows,” said Burcham.  ”So I invited them into my office like the President did and offered to settle this over a beer.”

The meeting seemed to cool things off for a while until Spitzer picked another fight with a different employee a half hour later.

“So I invited him and they other guy back in for another beer to settle things,” said Burcham.

By days end Spitzer had picked fights 6 more coworkers and was barely able to walk out of the TVMan, Inc. HR offices after the last meeting.

Since then Spitzer has started what he calls his “Happy Hour” argument with other employees around 4pm.

“I’m not sure how we are going to handle this,” said Burcham.  ”He’s starting to drop off chips and dip at the HR Office at the beginning of the day.”

Learn more about TVMan, inc. at:  http://www.tvmanonline.com/

ReadRead more blog entries at: http://tvmanonline.wordpress.com

TVMan, Inc. is a full service Houston TV Commercial production company

Hundreds of  TVMan, Inc Employees with children received shocking news at the Monday morning  status meeting today.

“Because of continued abuse of our ‘Selling Stuff for Your Kids at Work’ policy,” read the memo from TVMan, Inc. corporate offices in New York, “we are forbidding  employees from using guilt trips to sell stuff for their children’s school fundraisers to other employees.  That is all.  Now get back to work.”

The policy made it clear that no longer can chocolate bars, raffle tickets, Girl Scout cookies, tins of popcorn, wrapping paper, or cookie dough be sold for employees kids at work.

“It’s all that new girl Kate’s fault,” said Gina Feltman from TVMan, Inc. corporate sales in Houston.

The “New Girl” Feltman refers to is former reality star Kate Gosselin. Gosselin was recently hired as assistant receptionist at TVMan, Inc. after the cancelation of her show “Jon & Kate Plus 8” and her pending divorce.

“Things were just fine around here,” said Rene Landman, who works in the mailroom.  ”Then Kate shows up and starts selling crap for all of her eight kids.  Four of them are in Brownies, three of them in band and another wants to be a cheerleader.  I’m a diabetic, I can’t eat all this stuff all day.”

Gosselin wouldn’t comment but did show us some nice candles her kids were selling for their church.

“If Kate’s kids were selling something good like Single Malt Scotch and Cuban Cigars I wouldn’t have had to issue this order,” commented TVMan, Inc. Assistant CEO Rodney Clayborn.

Learn more about TVMan, inc. at:  http://www.tvmanonline.com/

ReadRead more blog entries at: http://tvmanonline.wordpress.com

TVMan, Inc. is a full service Houston TV Commercial production company

TVMan, Inc. overnight security guard, Pomeroy Goulet, was fired last night for incompetence.

“Whoever the idot was that hired a Mime as a security guard better watch out, ” said Patrick Herrmann, chief of security at TVMan, Inc.’s Houston studio.

“We hired him from a security contractor called ‘Partners in Crime’,” explained Benita Vanegas, who hired Goulet.

“The problem was that there was a misspelling on their website and company is actually named ‘Partners in Mime’,” said Vanegas.

Goulet worked part time as a security guard and on weekends performed at birthday parties and corporate events.

The problem came to light after a break in at the TVMan, Inc. studio last week.

“I looked at the security tapes to see what happened,” said Herrmann.  ”Apparently two masked men entered the studio and Goulet pretended he was trapped inside a box and did nothing. Then when he called 9-1-1 he tried to mime to police what happened so they never showed.”

Goulet is currently suing TVMan, Inc. for wrongful termination.

“He doesn’t stand a chance,” said TVMan, Inc attorney Aaron R. Norrick, “His deposition was hilarious. We kept asking the stenographer to read back Mr. Goulet’s comments and she just shrugged her shoulders.”

Goulet was reached to comment on this story but had nothing to say.

Learn more about TVMan, Inc. at http://www.tvmanonline.com/

Read more blog entries at http://tvmanonline.wordpress.com/

TVMan, inc. is a full service Houston TV Commercial production company