TvManOnline Houston TV Commercial Production Company

HOUSTON, TX- For the 9th year in a row the Houston office of TVMan, Inc. reigned supreme in the annual company wide blood drive besting the New York office by a single pint with only thirty seconds left on the clock.

Each year the World Headquarters of TVMan, Inc. sponsors the blood drive competition between the company’s three offices, Houston, New York and Paris.

“Its for a great cause and the employees really like the competition, ” said Armand Mathiew, team captain for the Paris office.

Employees say this year was by far the closest and most exciting of all the blood drives in the company’s history.

“We were all huddled around Facebook watching the other branches post their totals,” said Sheila Williams, captain of the TVMan, Inc. Houston team.

“With about an hour to go we saw that the Paris office was way behind and out of it, but we were in second place behind New York,” said Williams.  “It was time to start our Secret Plan.”

The “Secret Plan” centered around star donor Larry A. Clayton, a 95-year-old security guard in the Houston office.

“Larry usually takes a nap around 4pm”, said Williams.  “When he dozed off we went in and hooked him up.”

Employees gathered about cheering. “GO! GO!” as the last drops from Clayton’s arm filled the bags needed to victory.  Just before the clock went off he was able to give the 6 pints needed to beat the New York office.

“Well played Houston,” said Angelica Pinto a designer in the New York office.  “They had a plan and we didn’t, wait until next year.”

When Clayton woke up and was told of his role in the victory he was very humble and had little to say.

“Where am I?” Clayton joked as his fellow employees cheered.

For his heroic efforts the long time employee received a tee-shirt that says, “I Gave”, and a bottle of scotch.

Unfortunately he used the bottle of scotch to rehydrate and will be out for a few days.

“Brave man”, said Charles Hastings the first paramedic to arrive on the scene.

Employees are already planning next years competition.

A contest held to involve the nation’s top design students in the rebranding of Houston TV Production Company, TVMan, Inc., has been cancelled because of an internal screwup.

“Our current logo and branding identity is about 15 years old, its time for something fresher…you know more hip,” said André Veronneau, TVMan, Inc. Brand Manager.

The idea was to involve the most brilliant design students from the nation’s top art colleges to submit ideas for a new logo and brand identity and award the student a scholarship to continue in their studies.

However TVMan, Inc. mailroom intern Bruce Henderson only sent the contest  letters to a 4th grade art teacher at Appalachia Elementary School in Appalachia, Virginia.

“We were thrilled when we got the contest letter,” said Vanessa F. Thomas who has been teaching art at the elementary school for 35 years.

“I broke out the crayons and had the kids make some art”, said Miss Thomas.  ”I sent them back right away, I hope one of them wins.”

The TVMan, Inc. board of directors decided to suspend the contest once the entries came it.

“We first thought the entries were kind of cute”,  said Esther Moody, TVMan, Inc. employee counselor.

“But then we noticed some of them were quite disturbing,” continued Moody, “especially one by a boy named Sam whose artwork was called ‘Kill Miss Thomas’.”

“Even though the kids poured their hearts and souls into these pictures they weren’t quite what we were after, said Veronneau,”so we suspended the contest until the fall when a broader range of students could participate.”

Here’s a look at some of the entries from the kids at Appalachia Elementary School. Click to enlarge.

TVMan, Inc. will keep their old logo until a real contest can be organized.  Until then the pictures will be hung on the lunch room refrigerator.

TVMan, Inc. is one the nation’s finest HD Commercial Production Companies.

For more information or to submit entries contact our Houston office.

Employee reactions were mixed at Houston TV Commercial Production Company, TVMan, Inc., after management hired that “Creepy Six Flags Guy” to lead the staff’s annual CPR training class.

“It was just down right weird,” said Danielle Perkins, who works in the cafeteria at TVMan, Inc.

“All the loud music and dancing made it difficult to learn anything,” said Perkins.

“I was a bit annoyed that he didn’t bring one of those dummy’s to practice on like you had in health class,” said HR Secretary Loretta Stukel.  ”To get certified we had to give him mouth-to-mouth.”

Ever since Six Flags Theme Parks announced it was filing for Chapter 11 last month the “Creepy Six Flags Guy” has had to look for other work.

“I saw him on CSPAN answering questions about the economy,” said Greg  Wiggins, a clerk in the TVMan,Inc. mailroom. “He didn’t make a lot of sense but it was entertaining.”

Management at TVMan, Inc. has taken CPR training seriously since the death of employee Paul Goldsmith  at a company Christmas Party.

“We were in the middle playing charades when Paul gripped his chest and fell to the floor”, said TVMan, Inc. company nurse Betty Carillo.

“His partner  yelled out ‘Heart Attack’ and we looked at the card in his hand and sure enough she was right.  We got frustrated when Paul wouldn’t get up so we all left,” said Carillo.

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The annual TVMan, Inc. family picnic is usually the highlight of the summer season for staff, but the 2009 event will be remembered more for massive abdominal cramps, diarrhea, upset stomachs, dizziness and feverish sweating.

“Because of some economic cutbacks we decided not to use our regular caterer,” said Evelyn Katzaman the assistant receptionist who coordinated this year’s event.  ”We decided a potluck where everyone would bring something from their ancestors native country would be cost effective and fun.  I guess I was wrong.”

Seventy-five employees and family members were treated for food poisoning.

“We wanted to get an early start on the event,” said Katzaman. “So Vickie and I (Vickie Harvel a summer intern) put the food out at 10am”.

By the time employees were ready to eat at 1:00pm the Houston temperatures had skyrocketed to 102 degrees.

“It seems everyone was hit at the same time,” said Jacob  Vaughan and overnight colorists at TVMan, Inc. “There were about ten of us involved in the three-legged race and then ‘bam’ it started coming.  My partner was that big lady who works in receivables which made getting to the bathroom pretty tough.”

“I heard over at the sack race things were a mess too,” said Vaughan.

Harris County health officials investigating the food poisoning outbreak aren’t sure if it was the curried raw clam strips that Anupam Smith made from her Indian grandmother’s recipe, or the Raw Oysters Casino that  TVMan, Inc.  graphic artist Neil Fernandez brought from a recipe he saw Bobby Flay do on the Food Network.

Or it could have been something else.

“I know exactly what it was,” said TVMan, Inc. Head of Sales , Lloyd Grumbling, “It was that pork and chicken Tartare that the French girl in the mail room brought.”

Grumbling was referring to the uncooked meat delicacy that recently fired Nouel Carrière brought to the picnic.

“Next year we’ll change the policy about fired- disgruntled employees still being allowed to attend the picnic,” said Evan Owens head of HR for TVMan, Inc.

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Corporate offices at TVMan, Inc. got the call last night from network executives that its pitch for the next big celebrity reality show had been approved and taping for the pilot will begin immediately.

“The premise of “America’s Next Eccentric Celebrity” is simple,” said Irene B. Baumeister, director of new programming at TVMan, Inc, “now that America has lost  its most eccentric celebrity in the passing of Michael Jackson, we need to replace him with a new eccentric celebrity.”

Industry insiders say the show will have an “American Idol” format and will possibly be hosted by Paula Abdul.

“All I can say is that our people have talked to her people,” said Charles Radke, assistant talent coordinator at TVMan, Inc.

American viewers will be able to tune in every night while a group of “A-list” celebrities compete for the title of “America’s Next Eccentric Celebrity”.  There will be a series of competitions in categories such as: bizarre plastic surgery,  hiring and firing of staff  on a whim, excessive social anxiety, odd beliefs, peculiar behavior and appearance, and finally spending large sums of  money on unusual items.

“We’ll have all the top celebrities like Britney Spears, Tom Cruise, Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie,” said Martha Barnes, VP of marketing at TVMan, Inc., “we’ll also have a few ‘B’Listers’ like Mike Tyson and Danny Bonaduce for laughs.”

“Its very important for American’s to have eccentric celebrities they can obsess over,” warned Antoni Adamczyk, a Russian economist.  ”If they don’t, they may stop reading gossip blogs and playing on Google at work all day.  Then they’ll get back to their jobs and begin creating quality products again.  It will be like the Fifties all over again.  Can you say ‘Cold War’.”

The winner of “America’s Next Eccentric Celebrity”  will reign until their bizarre and untimely death.  Then the show will pick another.